Whom Can We Trust?

Last blog post saw me venting on how the “geek” part of “beer geek” can get a little out of hand.  I want to clarify that, overall, I don’t think knowledge about beer is a bad thing at all – the opposite.  It makes me happy to see that people are thinking about what’s in the bottle or glass, able to appreciate some of the context that makes a beer whole.  As good beer becomes more widely accepted, the drinking populace is elevating its habits.  Okay, you’ve stopped drinking straight from the bottle & are decanting.  Good!  How about kicking it up another notch & buying yourself a few tulips?  If you’re on it enough, you might snag a complementary Duvel glass during one of our giveaways.

Correlating with the rise in public interest in beer, there are more sources of info than ever before.  I don’t know how many times we’re going to see the same articles spun over & over: “Proper Glassware for Your Beer”, “Pairing Beer with Food”, “Know Your Styles”, & on & on.  I don’t know what constitutes plagiarism in cases like these, but it seems that everyone’s biting someone else, & I don’t see a lot of credit being given for source material.  Chances are, the writer gleaned their knowledge from another writer, & it’s doubtful that they accrued info about the grain bill, process, & color range of gueuze, for instance, from years working at Brouwerij Boon or something.  The beer education pot has many, many cooks hovering around it.  My hope is that, over time, the knowledge base will become a little more refined (it’s refreshing to see the “IPA legend” slowly being laid to bed), & folks will do their research.

Not that I blame the writers or the repeaters for getting things a little skewed.  There are troves upon troves of historical & quasi-scientific tidbits to be unearthed; it can be overwhelming.  In the post-modern age of the internet, where anyone can pretty much find any opinion or “fact” they can imagine with a quick search, one longs for some sort of monolithic authority.  Michael Jackson is a god amongst beer writers, but even he’s not immune to self-contradiction here & there (anecdotally, the origin of the tripel in Great Beers of Belgium left me a little confused).  The Christmas after it was published, I received The Oxford Companion to Beer, which carried the promise of being just the authoritative last word so many sought.  Even before it was released, however, a storm of controversy brewed over disputed historical accounts, the charged led by British beer historian & consummate blogger Martyn Cornell.  Many others voiced disagreement with contents, & the OCB wiki was born for the sole purpose of revising errors.  Garrett Oliver, the OCB’s editor, responded eloquently (but not without emotion) to the revisionists, defending himself & the aim of the OCB while giving the wiki his blessing & validation.  But this was a tremendous effort collaborated on by scores of experts, & it still met with rebuttal.

I’ve used the OCB a ton over the few past years.  I seldom write this blog without it by my side.  There’s little doubt that I’ve cited some things incorrectly, or given out faulty info from time to time throughout posts.  Guilty.  Just one in the army of cooks throwing my pinch into the soup.  Beer is pleasure, & if you’re going to take it as seriously as I do, you have to be prepared to not take it so seriously, if that makes sense.  Know your source, & take every morsel of beer geek minutia with a grain of salt.  

The Right Way to Beer

“Come on Vern – the kids haven’t changed.  You have!”

Maybe I’ve changed.  Maybe I’m getting old.  Maybe I just don’t have the stamina for it the way I used to, or I’m realizing that life’s too short.  Lately I’m learning that my patience for beer geekdom is wearing thin.  Yep, this is going to be a rant post – the fun kind.  The kind where I vent about something that makes me shake my head & want to sit people down, bring their face in close, & say “Relax.” 

Most of these types of post end with just that message:  “Relax.  It’s beer.  It’s supposed to be enjoyed.  So enjoy.”  Sure, I express some of my stress in the process – but hopefully in service of the greater sanity of the beer drinking public (at least the sliver of a percentage that read this blog).  Beer is to be taken seriously, & we take it very seriously.  But not at the price of pleasure.  Past blog posts have aired grievances on obsessive beer-hunting, “proper” glassware, food pairings, overwrought descriptors, interminably recycled apocrypha – all with the underlying moral that, hey, it’s beer.  It’s a luxury designed to make life a little better, & if you’re getting all twisted about it, you’re doing it wrong.

When I say “my patience for beer geekdom is wearing thin”, I’m not talking about “geeking out”, the kind of open-minded enthusiasm & fun that makes my job worthwhile.  I’m talking about anal retentive “how to”-ism, the kind espoused by those attempting (I’m sure in good faith) to “elevate” & “educate” people about beer.  There exists the mentality that there is a “proper” way to do…pretty much anything with beer.  How to store it.  How to pour it.  How to smell it.  How to taste it.  What glassware to use for what style.  What temperature is optimal for what style.  How much head to leave in a glass.  Whether beer should be cellared upright or on its side.  What beer should be served with what food.  Whether you should evaluate appearance or aroma first.  Why you should always wash glassware by hand.  What implements you should use to wash glassware by hand.   Whether you should smell with long inhales or short sniffs.  What you should do to optimally taste the beer once it’s IN YOUR MOUTH.  Seriously, I’ve heard or read at least half-a-dozen different maneuvers to do with your tongue & cheeks to “properly” taste a beer, some of which I don’t even understand from an anatomical perspective. With some of these “rules” everyone seems to be in agreement, others you have sharply divided camps – for instance, do you prefer your Berliner weiss with or without syrup? 

We subscribe to a certain percentage of these rules (as any self-respecting bar should).  But all the minutia & “experience optimization” gets to be a bit much.  I understand that the purpose is to help people enhance their appreciation & put beer on a pedestal, presenting it at its best.  At a certain point, though, it starts to feel like a psychological bat used to beat people into feeling like their missing out or doing things “the wrong way”.  You might think that stout’s good, but nowhere near as good as it is with five years on it.  You might like that double IPA, but if it’s not in a tulip you lose a lot of the volatile aromatics.  The sweet spot for that barleywine is really at 58.  Jesus.  Here I was, silly old uninformed me, thinking I was really getting into this.  Thanks for proving me wrong, sucks to be me.

Now I’m not arguing for the abuse of beer, & think it should be treated with respect (& no, I don’t consider a lemon wedge on the glass ‘abuse’).  Everyone needs to decide how much stock to put into all these “guidelines” & at what point it becomes overblown puffery, or just too much of a pain in the ass to keep up with.  Set your own standards.  Personally, I almost always use a glass, usually a shaker, with exceptions for pilsners, Belgians, & barleywines.  I hate being served a chilled glass, but will drink it & ask politely for a room temperature glass next time.  If you drink straight from the can, go for it.  If you only drink Kolsch from a Stange, more power.  Prefer your IPAs aged?  Okay then.  What matters is that you like what you’re drinking, that you’re enjoying your beer.  It’s not rocket surgery – beer is meant to bring pleasure, & if you’re there you’re there.  If it tastes good, you’re doing it right.

A Little Knowledge Goes...

ISOHUMOLONES AID IN HEAD RETENTION!  THE SRM RANGE FOR A VIENNA LAGER IS 10-16!  YOU CAN USE THE SALT TEST TO TELL IF A GLASS IS BEER CLEAN!

Okay, now that’s out of my system.  Sorry about that.

Beer has a reputation as the “everyman’s” drink.  It’s one of the things I love about it: the opportunity to drink a well-crafted, artisan brew without any air of pretense.  Sure, there are beers commanding lofty prices, but there are also world class examples to be found right at your finger tips for a few bucks, too.  It’s always been a pretty populist beverage – I think our bar, where teachers, truckers, & doctors sidle up convivially together, has always embodied the socially egalitarian nature of the pint (or tulip).  It’s a beautiful thing.

I’ve noticed an interesting correlation with that populist nature.  As more articles are written, more links of info shared, more interest paid to craft beer as niche hobby – basically, as beer becomes more of a “thing” – there are more people contributing more content about beer to all the places people contribute content.  There’s a ton on the internet, naturally, but TV & print are seeing more space devoted to this new-fangled delight.  In sync with that, we now have a widespread distribution of people who consider themselves budding beer experts, given the amount of “insider” knowledge easily available to them.  The elevation of the everyman’s drink has turned every-other-man into a fountain of regurgitated trivia & dubiously useful rules (a subject I’ve kvetched about elsewhere).  Not only are the how-to-ers making beer feel a little more like school, but there are more now than ever, one-upping anyone in earshot.

Not saying that education’s a bad thing, & a boost in the general knowledge level around our beloved brew aids it in gaining the respect it deserves.  I can’t help but feel it becomes a power play sometimes, though.  With knowledge comes power, & power can always be abused.  A quick glance through the forums on BeerAdvocate (a sample population skewed to the fringe, I realize) yields plenty of talk around “dumb servers/bartenders/store employees” who just aren’t as enlightened as the literati who spend a ton of time surfing beer sites.  Frosted glass?  Be gone with ye!  The waitress didn’t know the difference between east coast & west coast IPA?  Heavens!  A little humility goes a long way, too, & I’ve come to notice that the more someone understands about a subject – ANY subject – the less opinionated & obnoxious they tend to be about it.  The more we know, the more we realize we don’t know, which provides some insurance against being a dick.

For the reasons cited above, it can be both a blessing & a curse that beer seems to attract so many passionate people.  The blessing part is obvious – I feel that the craft culture overall has really benefitted from the enthusiasm & support given by its fan.  That passion has the potential to eat itself.  I have some mixed feelings about the Cicerone program, a fairly new organization that aims to certify professionals in the beer business – mainly bar & restaurant staff – on how to optimally store, serve, & pair beer.  I think the program itself is great, & much needed if beer hopes to put itself on the same footing as wine in the gastronomical world.  Again, if beer is to be given the respect it deserves, those dealing with it need to know how to best treat it.  We at The House currently have no Cicerone-recognized staff, but that could always change in the future. 

As great as the program is, I see the potential for it to be abused as a trophy for some armchair Bamforth.  I GUARANTEE there’s a percentage of Cicerone-certified individuals who got it for the bragging rights, to prove something to someone.  As I’ve said before, beer geeks love to outdo one another, & there have got to be some out there who have a Beer Server certification hanging on their wall.  While I see the Cicerone program as something valuable for the field as a whole, I really don’t see the point in anyone outside of the service industry pursuing it for any reason besides ego gratification.  Keep it to the professionals, I say.

Same goes for the number of craft beer courses that have emerged on college campuses across America.  Several colleges (San Diego University, Paul Smith’s College in upstate NY) now offer academic tracks in the business of craft beer.  As craft beer is a growing field, this makes sense – IF you’re planning on entering the brewing or hospitality industry.  Someone planning on making a living in beer would do well to know the business side of it.  As with the Cicerone program, though, I can’t help but wonder how flooded the classes might be by barstool experts-in-training. 

So what point am I trying to make, other than once again whining about the pool getting more crowded?  I’ll go back to the double-edged sword metaphor.  It’s cool seeing so many people in love with something as cool as beer.  There’s a lot to learn, & plenty of places to find out more (some reliable, others less so – more on that later).  All that passion needs to tapered by humility & respect, though, or else it’s like someone peed in the pool & everyone has to get out until it’s cleaned again.  So be cool, my babies.